feelings

Our feelings right now could be described as...

...dumb-founded/bewildered
...discouraged
...resentful
...beaten down
...bitter
...uncomfortable
...angry
...down in the dumps
...disheartened

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. ~Ephesians 4:29-32

Today, Nathan and I had decided to go and visit our first church since we have felt led to leave VCC. It has been hard to go visiting churches as Nathan does not always have Sundays off from work (he usually gets 1 sometimes 2 Sunday mornings free a month). I am 7 months pregnant with a 4 year old and almost 2 year old, and we don't know who is taking care of our kids in the nursery and they would be too distracting and noisy to those around us to leave them in the church service with us so me going with our 2 kids by myself wouldn't be helpful or useful in trying to determine whether this is the church we are to attend. Our strategy would be that I would be in the nursery with our kids and getting a chance to ask questions to the nursery workers about the inner workings of that church while Nathan would sit in on the pastor's sermons to discern whether the preaching is Scripturally sound.

I had done a lot of searching for churches to visit in our area and have only found a couple in the town we live in and a hand full out of town but requires some travel time to get to. I found some information about a Baptist church 25 miles away so we decided to go try it. I googled the address to get directions, and we were off.

The directions led us to a neighborhood of houses and where that church was supposed to be, there was nothing but a grassy lot! Bad directions! Ugh! On our way to find that church, we passed another church and thought we could sneak in on that, but it was just letting out as we were coming! Double Ugh! :( So, while we were in the area, we decided to go to a favorite store to look around. As we pulled in to the parking lot, I saw a sign for the church we were looking for! Yeah! Thinking we would only be 10 minutes late, we pulled in to attend that church. As we walked in through the door, a few adults were talking, and we found out that their church was way earlier than what the information on the Internet had indicated and that they had just finished church and Sunday School. Triple Ugh! (I guess that makes 3 strikes, and we're out!)

As a side note that really pulled at our heartstrings today as well, this happened today...

While I was helping Ivy get ready this morning, Ivy turned to me and said, "I hope they will like me."

I asked Ivy how she felt about us not going to our old church (the only church she has ever known), to which Ivy replied, "It makes me feel really unhappy."

We have found it to be so hard to stay encouraged as to what to do regarding our corporate worship to the Lord and study of His Word, but we will continue to go to the throne and lift our discouragements up to Him and continue our daily devotions to Him.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28