tough

Recently, Nathan and I have had to make one of the toughest, if not THE TOUGHEST, decisions we have ever had to make not only as church-going believers in Christ but as parents. Realizing our decision could certainly turn our little 4-year-old daughter's world upside down, this decision was not reached out of haste but from a time of examining the issues at hand and seeking the Lord's direction through prayer and through Godly counsel.

An incident happened within the church where the church elders made a decision to not report a crime committed to a minor by another church leader. The church elders were charged by the local police of this crime and now face trial. For a few months before this all came about, Nathan and I have been feeling some unrest and started to question whether we should be attending the church any more due to some other decisions and actions the church leaders had made. Those decisions weren't exactly wrong, but they weren't how we would have. This final incident was the thing that the Lord used to put our decision into perspective.

BUT...

Our little girl is 4 years old. She has been going to this church for the past 4 years. She loves going to Sunday School, to church/junior church, and to Pioneer Club. Church is HER WORLD. Her friends are there. She wakes up in the morning and asks if today is church day or if that day is Pioneer Club. Our little girl's world is being turned completely upside down all because of a heinous act done by a church leader and because of a poor and stupid decision made by four other leaders in the church.

Nathan and I have tried so hard and thought we were protecting our children as much as possible...who would have ever thought that the actions of 5 ADULT men who know better would hurt and disrupt our little girl's life so much! We felt that the Lord was leading us to leave the church.

If anyone out there reading this post is close to these issues, please know that I am not writing this post or using this blog as a sort of soapbox in which to judge or condemn anyone or to sway anyone's opinions in these matters as I know that the Lord has us all in different positions and areas in our lives and works in us in different ways. As is the main purpose of this blog, I am merely writing this post for the purpose of preserving a part of our children's history, and we consider this decision a very significant part of our family/children's history.

Now that I am editing this post over a year later, I must say that to read over ALL that I had originally written and the raw feelings I felt and wrote about was something (and I must say that I eliminated a lot of what I wrote). Although I don't think I will ever understand everything that occurred and why decisions were made the way they were and although the many many months following our decision to leave the church were SO HARD, I know that the Lord was at work in it all and still is working in it. I see that God had other plans for us and was seeking and still seeks to test our faithfulness and obedience to Him. I am encouraged and feel so blessed to know that the Lord still is at work in my life. I also know that everybody's walk with the Lord is so different and He works in us and uses us in so many different ways. In no way do I want my words to make others feel differently about their decisions and in the way the Lord led them in this situation.

May I leave you with a verse that has brought encouragement and a sort of closure to this whole thing for me...

Seek the LORD while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the eart, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it. ~Isaiah 55:6-11